Yume no Ato

After almost 3 years of usage, I decided to finally close my FB account. Without thinking if I’ll make it permanent or just temporal I decided to just stop watching the other peoples life, playing addictive games and or just chatting with some people I met once and might not even see again in person. I think that what freaks me out of the service is the friend hunting most of the people do there and see how pathetic are their tries to call the attention of the people who knows them. Also, remembering the “social network effect” exposed in Dr. Dubar’s paper where they express that no matter how much people we have in contact with, the brain can only register up to 150 people. Think that makes me think WHAT’S THE POINT OF ADDING SO MUCH PEOPLE YOU BARELY TALK WITH???????? Well, after all that I just realized that I just felt like them in the “social network wave” and I was just wasting my already complicated time there. Is incredible the amount of time we have once we just stop been ...

Al intentar lograr su cometido no tuvo nunca una impresión del daño que causaba y aun así cuando le preguntaban como esta Miguel me han dicho que lo han visto arder ella se sonreía y contestaba así: a Miguel hay que sacarlo de ese mundo en el que vive por que no logra comprende que así como las flores nacen también se marchitan y lo que el tiempo quita no podrá jamás volver... mil años de escuchar la cancion y aun sigue atormendandome... que ironia de canción....

Since some days ago I start to move on and try to assimilate my decision of leaving her… after a while I’m not so sure what I was trying to look for me then because the plan just backfired to me and instead of been able to concentrate more in my duties I just lost total control of my psyche without mention the details of the fact that also my luck run out. But the good thing is that my mask still works pretty well. Sadder is the idea that people just let themselves goes for the external view of the people to start to develop a “me” of their own point of view. Feel how the different versions of me start to develop in the mind of everyone who interact with me becomes kind of sucky to the point of makes me feel sick. Maybe is just that I’m sick of my self at look that my appearance always looks exactly in the opposite way. Happier I look, sadder I felt this week. Also I think that is my fault to make of that an involuntary reaction in order to make people doesn’t ask too many questions....

Después de mucho tiempo he vuelto a este blog, y a mi idioma original simplemente por que por ahora no puedo más. Este dolor era el que quería evitar de un principio al tener una relación con alguien tan importante y ahora que lo he dejado todo para poder ser yo mismo y tener mi espacio, el dolor que siento es tan grande que literalmente me he enfermado. Después de mucho tiempo puedo entender que lo que decía aquella chica con quien salí un tiempo era cierto era cierto… al estar tendido en mi cama solo pude pensar en sus palabras “el motivo por el cual siempre te enfermas en la misma época del año y las medicinas no te funcionan es por qué tu fiebre no es a causa de algún virus, sino del estrés mental que tu subconsciente crea en esta época del año”. Después de 3 dias aun me siento como una mierda, sin poder hacer nada no puedo dejar de pensar en lo mal que me siento… Ahora veo que aun me falta mucho por entender en lo que a vivir corresponde. He dejado el 90% de mi vida atrás y otra...

As you weave your hand that says , someday lets meet again your smiling face Is eternally burned into my memory My face wish replied “that’s right” I wonder if I was able to laugh convincing Even if we cannot remain like this And even if we are washed away by the future It never changes, it’s not a lie That we are able to meet right now Even though I was free as a bird I was as lonely as the wind We can never return, it can never become dirty This canvas of ours…