Painful care

Here in the train i started to think about how i was talking to the person i care most in this universe and about the emails i didnt send but written already. A bit affraid of my words I become, when I saw how i was talking to her. My words are hard and my way of thinking a bit drastic but now i understand myself more in that attitude. What i am now is just a natural evolution in human conciousness, the same the first woman I loved and my real friends of that time had. Thats reminds me the world of my last love when she said, she have a peculiar way of thinking to only have 16. I always thought that and I always concidered that she, and the other were too hard with they words from time to time. I also got to think that their words were a way to express some kind of inner frustration or the result of their hard lifes. Nothing good i ever thought about that behavour, in the other hand i touhgt sometimes that was a way to express their anger, and because they were only confident with our group they just use to act like that within us. But now I understand them, why they are so though and why I kept learning of that. Is a strong way to open the eyes of those they really care of. As i'm doing now, I found out that my acting form is just because i saw that this angel i'm harming with my words is a bit confused and creating a reality that at the end might end her empty as i was once, hoping her hope in a little sensitive angel that once she grows up might end up having problem with her mother as see just the empty shell of what once a beautiful and strong angel.
Violence is not my style and I understand that... i have faith in her, reason i can let my words go on her... i know that a normal person will feel so hurt that might run away of it. I feel that she is in a state that is close to those kind of people but my faith for her is greatest than the faith in me. At the end i only want the best for her...

Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim