Until another time FB....

After almost 3 years of usage, I decided to finally close my FB account. Without thinking if I’ll make it permanent or just temporal I decided to just stop watching the other peoples life, playing addictive games and or just chatting with some people I met once and might not even see again in person. I think that what freaks me out of the service is the friend hunting most of the people do there and see how pathetic are their tries to call the attention of the people who knows them. Also, remembering the “social network effect” exposed in Dr. Dubar’s paper where they express that no matter how much people we have in contact with, the brain can only register up to 150 people. Think that makes me think WHAT’S THE POINT OF ADDING SO MUCH PEOPLE YOU BARELY TALK WITH???????? Well, after all that I just realized that I just felt like them in the “social network wave” and I was just wasting my already complicated time there.

Is incredible the amount of time we have once we just stop been in a social network. Studies reports that an average person spend between 2 to 4 hours daily in some sort of online social network, And in my personal case I think that I send even more since I’m unable to concentrate in anything anymore. I was feeling how sick I was becoming for been just checking my restaurant and my mafia wars pages… interrupted eventually by just the occasional (pop) of someone people who only connect to ask the deepest questions of the universe “what are you doing? And what more?” . I try to act grumpy to release the frustration, yet I always end up depressed and moving away.

I don’t want to mean that my actions are related with the fact that I start to don’t like people. But I need a way to escape of the routine without the superficial human interaction that kind of hurts me now. I don’t know anymore, the human contact entertain me in some way, yet the lack of real intimacy in their words is becoming tortuous. With irony I just remember the conversation I had yesterday with Kris when she told me “you are the most “people’s” person I ever met in germany”. I wonder what does a “people’s person” mean. Some sort of player? an avid manipulator of the human emotions? Who know, what I just feel that is all wrong… If I want to develop a life after dropping the previous nice one I had. I should stop been cynic, leave the henry wotton attitude aside, accept my weakness and simply accept everything that comes… but is so freaking difficult. Why I need a muse to move on? I still don’t understand that… when I become a moon that depends of another start to shine at night.

I wish I could be the one who distract with simple superficial stuffs that draws smiles and the simple company of the people who gather around me just for some personal selfish interest…

Now that I think about it… why do I always help people I just don’t know? It has been in my nature offer my help before they ask without expecting anything of them. Now I even see that weird…. Maybe that’s why I had so many weird people in facebook… maybe a part of me simply don’t want to do anything for anyone or is frustrated for been able to do anything for everyone but nothing for myself. Or who knows…

At the moment is better to take a time to read, watch the snow fall and enjoy the music…

Maybe I just end up liking impossible people… moreover, unreal people…

Cold of the night take me in your eternal darkness, let me dance with the wind and disappear between the falling leaves…

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