A love dilemma

in the middle of this serene night, I wake up after falling asleep watching a movie and start to think if there is an absolute meaning for love. What is that thing that motivates people to say “I love you” in certain situations. Moreover, what is that thing that make them retract their words with time.
I can't just think that even love is something not eternal for those who are too exposed to this world. At least is what i would like to think instead of believing that wasn't real love what I got the last time.
I would like to ask her, what is love for her because now I'm really confused about it. I always though that love is something that make us go on even in the darkness of the nights, against every logic and against even faith or luck. Something so beautiful that can go on even against death and time an doesn't matter how difficult it is will always bring us a smile.
If that is the case, i think that we should be able to surpass everything with it as she told me once. Then, why makes people change their minds. Might be that wasn't real love? Or might be that what people call love is just an, one side feeling, that as a plant grows, bloom and then fall in decadence. Or worst then, is like a plant that have to be cultivated day by day or might die with time. If this is the case, I would like to ask to the heavens what have I done wrong. I wish, I could know what is my mistake to learn of it an have a good experience of all this pain. I need to know in order to pass the experience to those who still have hope in this feeling.
I maybe my perception of love doesn't fit in this world anymore, that is so sad to think on it, because i have to continue living on with it.
So at the end there is so many questions....
what is really love?
Is pride stronger than love?
Aren't any more eternal feelings in this world?
Am I too idealistic or just dumb?
Can I trust again in my life in people?
Are really my sins so bad that I can't even been worthy of receiving the affection of an angel?
Or am I living just in an eternal distorted reality created by my naive mind?
What an paradox, i'll be 29 in some days, I spent the half of my life lamenting for a dead love. When I realized that there is nothing we can do for dead people, I found out that now i'll spend the rest of my life trying to understand and learn who I was so dumb to hurt an angel who, was once innocent and pure, and suffering for my mistakes...
Indeed is a fair payment for my unconsciousness. If we all could learn of this situations, maybe we might be better people... but for what?

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