The uneasy felling of the familiarity
today i woke up with a really uneasy feeling. Now that my memory came back, I'm able to recover all those weird fellings and frighting memories my brain tried to protect me of during all this years. But what i have to understand now is that not everything was bad. I had some good experiences that actually, made that time the best moments i ever had. To resume that it fell like living in a small heaven in the middle of a big hell created by my own habilities. But anyways that is something i dont want to talk about today. Is about how i fell.
My present condition is sick/depresive/sensitive to the weather. But is not so different as before. Today i woke up with this familiar sensation that makes me remembers the scarifying mornings i use to wake up when i use to swim. Also, i found out that is not as different as when i use to woke up in morning to go to work at dell, go to the university. Or go to my office when i had my companies. That makes me thing that i've always got sick in the nights and start to heal in the mornings.... my mouth, throat, nose, head and even the same pain in the middle of my back feels the same as before. But not only that, the dark room also gave me that sensation that overflew myself to the point that makes me miss that time in my origin country a bit.
In the other hand, other thought came to my mind, and is the fact that is December, and not even after crossing the ocean to start again i was unable to escape of my eternal end of year illness. Maybe is a curse my own subconscious mind made me feel for “dislike” this time of the year. However, i cant deny that is the nicer time of the year and the fault of my attitude for this time is because is the time where I always loose everything i appreciate in my life. Even this this time looks that will be the same. But just for the first time in my life i want to be wrong in my own thoughts but is something that doesn't depends of me anymore so... lets see, did the blind says....
Ironically the mornig was perfect today, so perfect that made me feel like crying and guess what, i end up talking to myself alone again haha. Maybe is like i said once, no mater how bad this world can be there is always beauty if we take the time to pay attention to what soround us.
Well is time to leave the train.... lets see what does this beautiful day brings to me ....
Bis später
My present condition is sick/depresive/sensitive to the weather. But is not so different as before. Today i woke up with this familiar sensation that makes me remembers the scarifying mornings i use to wake up when i use to swim. Also, i found out that is not as different as when i use to woke up in morning to go to work at dell, go to the university. Or go to my office when i had my companies. That makes me thing that i've always got sick in the nights and start to heal in the mornings.... my mouth, throat, nose, head and even the same pain in the middle of my back feels the same as before. But not only that, the dark room also gave me that sensation that overflew myself to the point that makes me miss that time in my origin country a bit.
In the other hand, other thought came to my mind, and is the fact that is December, and not even after crossing the ocean to start again i was unable to escape of my eternal end of year illness. Maybe is a curse my own subconscious mind made me feel for “dislike” this time of the year. However, i cant deny that is the nicer time of the year and the fault of my attitude for this time is because is the time where I always loose everything i appreciate in my life. Even this this time looks that will be the same. But just for the first time in my life i want to be wrong in my own thoughts but is something that doesn't depends of me anymore so... lets see, did the blind says....
Ironically the mornig was perfect today, so perfect that made me feel like crying and guess what, i end up talking to myself alone again haha. Maybe is like i said once, no mater how bad this world can be there is always beauty if we take the time to pay attention to what soround us.
Well is time to leave the train.... lets see what does this beautiful day brings to me ....
Bis später
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