The perfect couple
Today I woke up thinking in what a couple is. After a dream where I saw the woman I love with the person who have feelings for her now, I felt that my life was over. Maybe, is a way the universe does to remember me my lost? Or maybe is a way my brain likes to torture me.
Then, for a second, I asked to myself “why she wanted to be with me in first place?” I think that the answer is pretty easy to understand now. She saw in me something she was always wondering if exist, a person who didn’t react as the other person she have met in her life, and a person who have many attributes she was looking for in a man. The picture of been the perfect man for someone was pretty heavy and cocky for me, and I was feeling proud of it. But with all this, I just figure out that as I was proud to be with her, I was also afraid to loose her. And as I told to my team mates all my life “in the moment when you feel real fear you loose”, and was exactly what happened.
I also remember the first night we slept together in this country. A funny night because she was talking asleep like she was in a dream with me when she said “I want you to be the last man in my life” those words were impregnated in my soul like the touch of an angel. I told to myself over and over again that finally I was blessed considered that she wanted to be with me.
But well narrate everything over and over again is not important anymore.
The real point of writing today is that I was thinking in my dream and figure out. Mmm what is really the perfect couple? Someone who has some attributes, attitude, characteristics and skills we wanted? The majority of the people will be agreeing in some level of what I just said. However, I think that isn’t the correct approach anymore. There are so many people and everyone is pretty much unique in their way and we will feel comfortable with many of them. But, what is actually the perfect couple. I found out for myself a time ago, that the perfect couple is this one that have first make us feel that the world can move on as long as we are together. That can see me and understand my attitude, habits and dilemmas, and want to share it with me even if aren’t initially compatible. Someone, who when is in troubles or dilemmas in the first person she think of for help or advice is me even if I’m not the most indicated in the situation. Someone, who can close her eyes and trust in me in the most of the difficult situations, Someone I can show my true self and understand that I’m now just the product of all my history and not that I’m my history. Someone I can love loudly and in silence, from the distance and from the proximity. Someone, who can tell me that I’m not always right and prove it because, is true. Someone: that can feel me when I close my eyes and embrace me.
I think this is a better definition of what we really make a couple instead of looking for the ideal man or woman. Simply, because that makes us take an auto exam and evaluate and consider if the people we are looking for can adapt to that.
“My way of the ninja” is something really peculiar for “the people of my age” or better said for this world. Reason that makes me feel a bit sad considering that to find someone who really wants to be with someone like me might not exist no matter what. I saw in my last relationship how that way of me to be deteriorated everything by time. I’m not suit to be a regular human and do regular stuffs. Yes, I can do it and in some point even enjoy them as long as I’m with that person I love. Simply, because she is like the magical spice that condiment a bad dinner and make it enjoyable.
Ah, finally I was able to express in words the reason why I never look for someone to be with me. Not even I was able to understand this before. Now that I have the eyes opens I see that for all that people who admired me and for my own health I shouldn’t modify myself to be with someone. So, how an abnormal person likes me can be loved in this world? Who knows, I would be glad if at least someone really wants to be with me in despite by knowing who I am. In the other side I see that I shouldn’t have to do anything for this person because for what I see would be exactly he same for this other person.
Just in this condition, every problem, adversity or dilemma would be able to be confronted not as a couple, but as a single individual formed from the fusion of two souls.
T- 22 days and counting
Then, for a second, I asked to myself “why she wanted to be with me in first place?” I think that the answer is pretty easy to understand now. She saw in me something she was always wondering if exist, a person who didn’t react as the other person she have met in her life, and a person who have many attributes she was looking for in a man. The picture of been the perfect man for someone was pretty heavy and cocky for me, and I was feeling proud of it. But with all this, I just figure out that as I was proud to be with her, I was also afraid to loose her. And as I told to my team mates all my life “in the moment when you feel real fear you loose”, and was exactly what happened.
I also remember the first night we slept together in this country. A funny night because she was talking asleep like she was in a dream with me when she said “I want you to be the last man in my life” those words were impregnated in my soul like the touch of an angel. I told to myself over and over again that finally I was blessed considered that she wanted to be with me.
But well narrate everything over and over again is not important anymore.
The real point of writing today is that I was thinking in my dream and figure out. Mmm what is really the perfect couple? Someone who has some attributes, attitude, characteristics and skills we wanted? The majority of the people will be agreeing in some level of what I just said. However, I think that isn’t the correct approach anymore. There are so many people and everyone is pretty much unique in their way and we will feel comfortable with many of them. But, what is actually the perfect couple. I found out for myself a time ago, that the perfect couple is this one that have first make us feel that the world can move on as long as we are together. That can see me and understand my attitude, habits and dilemmas, and want to share it with me even if aren’t initially compatible. Someone, who when is in troubles or dilemmas in the first person she think of for help or advice is me even if I’m not the most indicated in the situation. Someone, who can close her eyes and trust in me in the most of the difficult situations, Someone I can show my true self and understand that I’m now just the product of all my history and not that I’m my history. Someone I can love loudly and in silence, from the distance and from the proximity. Someone, who can tell me that I’m not always right and prove it because, is true. Someone: that can feel me when I close my eyes and embrace me.
I think this is a better definition of what we really make a couple instead of looking for the ideal man or woman. Simply, because that makes us take an auto exam and evaluate and consider if the people we are looking for can adapt to that.
“My way of the ninja” is something really peculiar for “the people of my age” or better said for this world. Reason that makes me feel a bit sad considering that to find someone who really wants to be with someone like me might not exist no matter what. I saw in my last relationship how that way of me to be deteriorated everything by time. I’m not suit to be a regular human and do regular stuffs. Yes, I can do it and in some point even enjoy them as long as I’m with that person I love. Simply, because she is like the magical spice that condiment a bad dinner and make it enjoyable.
Ah, finally I was able to express in words the reason why I never look for someone to be with me. Not even I was able to understand this before. Now that I have the eyes opens I see that for all that people who admired me and for my own health I shouldn’t modify myself to be with someone. So, how an abnormal person likes me can be loved in this world? Who knows, I would be glad if at least someone really wants to be with me in despite by knowing who I am. In the other side I see that I shouldn’t have to do anything for this person because for what I see would be exactly he same for this other person.
Just in this condition, every problem, adversity or dilemma would be able to be confronted not as a couple, but as a single individual formed from the fusion of two souls.
T- 22 days and counting
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