the pleasure of the silence

11:30 in the night and finally I can enjoy some minutes of silence after a complete day hearing noises around me of people, that for some reason, never shut the fuck up. That makes me think a bit about this people who talk and talk and i see that all of them have something in common. They just talk, they don't pay attention at all to anything anyone else says. Even when they silence themselves for some seconds, everything other people says is meaningless to them. So the irony of this that they can express so good and fluent in spite they can't communicate.

I've been feeling so annoy of voices lately that makes me think that is not good for me to continue thinking like that. I never enjoy more silence than anymore before. But the dangerous thing of all this comes in the situation that when i have to communicate everything becomes really difficult to me. Not because of the language, but because the worlds doesn't exist anymore. I don't want to fall again in the rei ayanami state i was when i had 16 considering how much damage that made me, a damage that not even yet I've been able to repair completely.

I wish I can play an instrument again. Is so difficult and I get equally frozen when I get and musical instrument in my hands that sometimes becomes a bit scary.

Maybe something inside of me just want to get enclose for real and rest. Should I follow it?

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