Insomnia nights

This is the 10 night without been able to have a proper sleep. Today, i broke my record sleeping 2:30 hours, the most in all this nights. Luckily, and like brought from the heaven, the one i love gifted me a pretty interesting but sad book to read and with that, i can amuse my insomnia nights. Of course, at 4 a.m my deciduous brain decided to make an evaluation of why I might not be able to sleep. And as an eternal karma, I start to make a list of stuff i'm doing now in order to find the cause. And the list is like this:

1. eating „healthy“

2. doing exercises 2 times a day most of the days

3. going to school and stay there until night

4. home care usual stuff (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc, etc)

In essence, is a good healthy life, no parties, no disruptions in the schedule, „no hiper stressful situations, not even TV!. But, then why i can't sleep anymore? I question myself about that and then i checkout my funny method this likes days to overthrown and disrupt Morpheus land:

1. increasing the sessions of exercises, with cardio stuffs to see if i get tired

   1. i even go to run ever morning at 6 concidering that i'm fully fucking awake!

   2. A cup of red wine (actually thats for the heart haha) but at least leave me a bit dizzy sometimes if the exercises was too hard and the food full of carbohydrates. (btw yesterday's dinner rocks!)

   3. studying extra from that „sometimes“ anesthetic rosetta stone.

   4. Don't letting me dormice in ANY moment of the day.

   5. Reading boring stuffs before sleeping

   6. taking a quick hot shower in night (that use to work in Costa Rica and USA)

And as can be seen, NOOOTHING. That really sucks because i feel that my performance in class sometimes get affected and my „multitasking“ ability is affected and decreasing to the level of a regular man. The worry thing would come when i get to the level of a blondie who cannot chew gum and walk at the same time haha.

Then I think about what comes to my mind when i wake up... then i find out that the thoughts are so random that I can make an statistic test of it... poisson and stetgaru would be scratching their tombs in order to get and strangle me for my incapacity of make and statistic evaluation of a regular periodic situation. But now i think for my self, what my “ex wife” and confident would say? Simple that have to be a relationship with all the problems i've been having with my family and my new being that doesnt let me sleep. In a way it can be truth ,but making use of my memory (yeah works like an annoying neighbor) is not the first time i've been like that... now that i think about it every time my physical condition is over passing or getting the 50% or more my body acts like that. What reminds me and explain why when i was in the university i was able to be an “outstanding student”, have a relatively good love life, a bunch of weird friends, a family that was recovering of my revelry against life, a company in successful and exponential growing, extra freelancer jobs, and play many hours every night age of empires 2 to the point of be able to make money of a simple hobby... without counting the days of training with the volleyball team of the univ. and the national team (that short late i abandoned without a goodbye).

So, should i do something similar? Naaaaaa, i'm old, yes i should use it in more intellectual stuffs or get a nice girl ninfo to have sex with (lolazo!). The truth is that, i cant find a way to canalize this, i can torture my brain with thinking about how to be better, but is a matter i think that have to be felt like i'm doing now and not imposed as i tried “do, and do not talk beatch”. I cant use it to learn language in a faster way, as i want to but the lack of phosphorus and iron in my food, have been making me a bit slow in that department during nights. Looks that panama had good stuffs ind food after all... fish and bohne in my “diet” would be a good improvement on it. But maybe that is just an excuse for determination lack... I think i need someone to kick my ass and practice my freaking words in order to improve. That is the only sucky of living alone now, is not enough to talk to some stranger from time to time or to ask for nudles in asia box. But well, let see what can i do this days.

The fact is that is difficult to handle this, i should go to a club and trip out the music until the morning. But as happened the last year, it didnt work either, 7 a.m woke up like a freaking police.

Well what can i do? Same question over and over again. I should apply to some exorcism in order to live better or what?

Now i can understand how meli use to feel everytime i turn on my computer and she was there because simply cant sleep. That is something really annoying and i cannot understand how people can live with it without getting crazy. The bad thing about it is that might makes me older faster than i thought. Maybe is a mechanism implies in my body to recover the time i lost... i was looking into the mirror yesterday, and with the difference of my small “bart” and that i'm a bit out of condition, i look almost as that night my old me died with my dreams. Nothing change in my body, but now that i cant sleep and stuffs like that even a white hair had grow. Might be the insomnia the culprit? Or the father time just remember this lost lamb and now is retaking all the time it pass in fly over him.